Life has been really hectic lately. It's hard to even find time to think about stuff. It's either I'm rushing for one event to another or cramming in information for midterms. I find it hard sometimes to keep in contact with people back home, hard to have some alone time to just evaluate what has been going on, hard sometimes to remember what is the purpose of everything that I am doing. Univeristy is harder than I think. Whoever told you that it was easier than A levels is bullshitting. Consistency is something I have lost in JC and now I am trying to get it back. But having a poor start is not doing any good and I am left here to catch up as fast as I can. 
In the midst of midterms. I hate it but its a really good wake up call to remind myself that I can't do the things I'm doing. Midterm one just passed and a week later is midterms 2, soon it'll be finals. Exams after exams, it just never really ends. Need a new study strategy. So here it is CONSISTENCY is key. I just calculated and realised that I need 7 hours a day or studying outside of class. That's not a lot I would say as long I get into it. 

Last weekend was pretty fun. But I don't know why I was so freaking exhausted. Slept really late on friday night so woke up late on saturday morning. Ate with Sharon, Jane, Yisheng and Jacques for crepes in the caf, but sharon and I realised that we had to rush to the hospital for volunteering. We reached there on time thankfully. The hospital is paritally close on saturdays but some departments are open. We went to a few levels but there was no one there. Finally we came to the transition care unit and found some patients there. Our job was to talk to the patients and teach them crafts if they were interested. First we met this old lady, but she only spoke french, which both of us can't fully understand. I was trying really hard to listen but all I understood was 'mal' that she felt bad. Then we were asked to walk this old man around, so that he can get some exercise. But all he was allowed to do was to walk around that ward, they had a magnetic band that prevents the door from opening. He's an italian man and only spoke italian, so that was even harder to communicate. Only 1 nurse could understand him. I brought him to the tv room after he had some juice and for no reason he started to hit the tele, so I brought him back to his room. I think he couldn't understand the news from the tele as it was all in English and got frustrated. I went to join sharon after that and talked to this nice old lady. She was so adorable. She told us about her son, her brother and her husband. Her husband died a year ago on the exact same day that Singapore was celebrating her birthday. I still remembered that day, we were all at danielle's house "studying" and eating ben and jerry's. A day full of fun and laughter. I guess life is like that, while some is rejoicing, others are grieving. She talked about how her son is teaching in Korea, and can only come back once in a while and how he would call once in a while. That just made me think of my parents, that I should call them more often. She also mentioned she had a cat that passed away recently, and how much so loved that cat.. I guess as one grows older, death has become part and parcel. I really admire how she remains so cheerful while talking about it. Since she is in transition care unit, means she is waiting to be trasferred somewhere. And guess what? She is being transferred to the same hospital that her husband died in. She didn't show much, but I could sense her cheer dying out a little. It's gonna be tough to live in the same place that has memories of the last moments with her husband. But I believe she is a strong woman and a cheerful one too. I am so looking forward to talking to her again. 

After that I went to a Deepa-Raya celebration event where the MASSA ( M'sia S'pore association) cooked briyani rice and 4 different types of chicken. YUM! We had to dance to Jaiho to earn our food though. After that we went to a lantern festival exhibition at Pie-IX. It was pretty cool, too bad I didn't bring my camera and was freezing as I just wore a sweater. Thankfully, I had lots of donated items that kept me warm through the night, Feel like a hobo. Came back to new rez to find my friends studying. I was too exhausted to even study and fell asleep on the bed. My earlier resolution to not sleep in other people's room is once again violated. I can't believe I slept through the whole night and not even realising they removed my shoes.

OMG my rez just had a blackout. Pretty eerie. I;m quite thankful for having a roommate at this point in time, though she's already fast asleep.

Saw this on a blog link from Jane. It's a good reminder not to rest on your laurels. self pity your sorry ass and not to take the easy way out.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. (this is no true for Singapore, they make you fail )

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

If you can read this – Thank a teacher.

HEre's another! Reminds me of how i used to play with fluffy and squishy!

Tueday was such a hilarious day. We were pretty much lost souls.
Took the flyer with the barn ppl. I was so excited about it that I forgot I was scared of heights.Only till i was locked in, with no way of coming out, the sudden realisation hit me. Ok, chill I can do this. I had to keep grabbing the chair or the metal bars to just give me a little sense of security. The view was amazing and after a while I forgot my fears, even felt sad when the ride ended.
After that we went to liang court to eat at this restarant, Sazeriya, an italian-japanese restaurant. But to get there was a hell-of-a-ride. Yin was the driver for the day. She doesn't really know the roads in Singapore as she studies in Australia, so we had the responsiblity of navigating her there. Well, we weren't that good. When yin reaches a junction of a road divider, she'll go " left or right, left or right, LEFT OR RIGHT!!!!" Then we'll make an impulsive decision "LEFT LEFT LEFT!" So we ended up on AYE driving to marina bay and ended up in the heart of the IR construction site. There were banglas all around. We really felt like a fish out of water. We pretended to be the CEO or something since we look so out of place.We ended up in the car park area of the construction quarters, unable to u turn as cars were piling behind us. We had to park in one of the lots till those cars cleared. And followed a taxi out of this strange place.
Finally we got to Saizerya!!! YAY Ghost stories about SMSS were told. And freddie just had to tell us about drag me to hell, which me and yin used getting drinks as an excuse to escape.
Yin drove us back to thomson where now almost all of us stayed nearby!!! (only when we're out of school and many of us are leaving that we get to stay near each other :(:(:(  ) We were at this traffic light waiting for it to turn green and just nice, 855, 163, 52, 410 all passed. Yin went chasing after those buses but only managed to get char's 52. YIn is a brute driver man!!! ahhaha damn brave... i think i will scream my way through if I drove like her. She cut 3 lanes in such a short distance just to get to the u turn zone. OMG.
Next outing, reverse bungee!! SOON!

I hate the ticking of the clock. It just reminds me that each tick brings me closer to the day. But the time spent has been fun. Either hopping around my classes, working out at the gym, meet up with dear friends, driving crazily around marina bay, working at rp. 3 more weeks till I go, I hope it passes SLOWLY.  

Spent much of today checking out stuff on mcgill. And I have to say I'm really scared. I have been putting off my uni stuff like crazy, at first I thought it was just procrastination. But now I realised is the cowardness inside of me.
Going to a total new country is quite challenging already. Coupled with a ancient university campus and prospective uni mates that goes drinking all the time. I am truly a wuss.

I always thought it'll be really cool to go on your own and live by yourself  without parent's interference. But now I am starting to feel a little homesick even though I have not really left. Today while having dinner with my gong gong, I felt that my meals are numbered in this 20 year old house,

The rich history of mcgill means one thing. Lots of things could have happened in this university. Maybe I have watched too many movies and I'm getting a little spooked out. But I bet there'll be many stories the seniors are gonna tell of the many aged buiding on campus. And if you know me well, I'm a sucker for ghost stories and once you got me hooked, I am just rooted to the ground, unable to move, stoning there thinking that if I didn't flinch the ghost may not know I'm there. But I think even without the stories, the old architecture is enough to send my imagination flying. Do you know they have underground tunnels that connect the buildings? ( not like those underground mrt links you have here, more like secret passage ways, narrow and dim) Some of the residences there were built in the 1930s, that's like before the war, and there are some that are hotel converted to hostels. Hotels tend to have a history too.

And the partying... I really hope its not too much. Worst still, they don't really drink cocktails and such, more like beer! ugh I really hate beer. And hopefully my roommate's not like some slut that brings guys back to the dorm.

Now, I'm thinking maybe staying with dad is not such a bad idea. U of Alberta seems more watered down than mcgill. Even if I had to stay in the hostel, I don't think it would be that much of a problem. And I'm starting to reconsider the major that I'm taking. Do I really want to venture into that, I don't think i'm cut out for med and the years is freakishly long, maybe I should just go u of A where I can take up general degree to see where my interest lie. But really?! When am I ever gonna know where my interest lie?!

With all these boggling my mind, I went church today. We talked about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being thrown in the fire by King Nebuchadnezzar as they did not want to bow to him like a god and how the angel of God protected them and brought them out, which made King Nebuchadnezzar a believer. I have to be like them to trust in God that he will protect me, even if it is not instantly or the way I anticipate it to, while I fight off trying to conform to the world, to be fearful of my fears.

It's been around a month since I got back and around a month since I've posted my last post. Haha, I'm not really the consistent blogger, more like the obsessive compulsive type...
Anyhoo, I wanna blog about my dreams.
I have been dreaming for the past 3 days straght and normally I don't remember them but these dreams were so etched in my mind when i woke up, its scary really.
The first dream was I had an outing with the 0725 ppl and I was suppose to buy movie tickets, and the rest went to buy the tidbits and stuff. This mall was not a mall found in anywhere in the world except in my brain. I was suppose to meet the rest at the movie theatre and to get there I had to take an uber long and uber high escalator. As I was going up, I started to hyperventilate and was clutching my chest as I thought I would die, The funniest thing was I was holding a bowl of apple crumble and through the chaos the apple crumble didn crumble! Anw, this guy saw me and tried to calm me down by asking me about the mundaniest things. He asked me what school I was from and I said St Pete's! Like where the heck is St pete's! When I finally reached the top, I was relieved but stil traumatised by the event.

The second dream was really scary.
In the dream, I was in the game Left 4 Dead. I was one out of 4 of the humans to complete the mission. Well, the weirdest thing was Mr Neo was in it and that to play the game I had to use a PSP. So he lend me his. Well, it wasn't that weird at that time cuz I was literally in the game, where zombies were swarming around me. And to make matters worse, my gun couldn't shoot. There were no bullets coming out of it. Zombies were inching closer and I could only punch them. And my stupid teammates just continued on without me!!! Ahhhh in the actual game, if you are left behind, you'll confirm die. Anyway, I somehow managed to survive. Then Mr Neo reappeared again and told me maybe the PSP was spoilt so he gave me another one. When I used it, the same problem happened again. And this time we were on an MRT train. There were normal humans and zombies in the train. And the zombies were biting into the humans and eating them! And I could not do anything as there were too many and Mr Neo was still helping me buy the bullets. He told me don't do anything, just sit here quietly so they wont attack yhou. Ahhh feels like shit, cuz I'm suppose to be like the soldier to kill the zombies. Once he managed to buy the bullets, I quickly kill the zombies and head out at the next station to find my team. Which means I am left alone again. Somebody sounded the alarm and a whole mob of zombies came and attack me. Then, I woke up....shivering... What a bad dream. You know it scarred me for the whole day. Cuz at night I was taking the train and then I saw this guy biting his nails and he looked kinda druggy. I suspected that he was going to turn into a zombie! And I dare not wash  my mom's toliet or even go to her room cuz its always so dark. I am trap in my own house, or more specific, my own room. This fear is so retarded I sometimes hate myself for it,
Actually there are a lot of logical explainations for the dreams, cuz everything in it is related to what i see and experience. The zombies cuz I played left 4 dead the other day. Mr Neo, because I've been seeing him so many times on the street.

The third dream was just last night. It is not really scary but pretty retarded.
I was at serangoon gardens, and I saw glenn and darren working at an ice cream shop. I was so jealous cuz I have been wanting to work in an ice cream shop for ages. So I asked them how did they get the job, and they said through NS links! Ughhhh, so unfair! (actually its quite funny cuz since when does ns guys sell ice cream!) Then, when I went to buy from them, I saw Allan Wu( ok that has really no link whatsoever). Suddenly the scene changed and Mr Neo appeared in my dreams again!!!!(WHY DO I: KEEP DREAMING OF MR NEO!!!!) And he was working in a geisha house and he was suppose to primp me up to dress like a geisha! HAHA this is just hilarious. Maybe his gay tendencies made me think of that! So he was like putting white cream all over my face and tying my hair up in a bun. And the head geisha even scolded him for not pulling it properly, which he obediently abided. K the geisha part really makes no sense.... But the ice cream one does.. because the night before I was at Frolick and so desperately wanted to work there, then I heard my mom say there's a vacancy at millenia walk, which got my hopes up. So high up that I had to dream about it. Gosh Ashley...

I really want a good night sleep and not dream of heart thumping things or scary things or stupid things. Maybe I'm sleeping too much....
Anyone knows a sleep doctor?